Monday, August 27, 2012

Parenting by the Book [Book Review]

Daniel has reviewed a number on books on our little blog so I thought I'd start contributing in the book review department.

First on my list is one of my favorites, Parenting by the Book (as in the Bible) by John Rosemond. Here's a little snippet from the introduction that I think sums up what he is all about: "A number of years ago, I came to the realization that for all of its pretenses to scientific objectivity, post- 1960s psychology is a secular religion that one believes in by faith. I had been slowly losing the false faith since the early 1980s, but I lost the last vestige seven years ago, when I submitted my life to Jesus Christ."

Where do I even begin as there is so much in this book that I love and it eye-opening? But I want YOU to read it so I won't go into too much detail. I will say that he is a great writer and funny. I've laughed out loud at the scenarios and real-life stories he tells.  He calls the people in his profession, "those people with the big letters behind their names" and talks about the older generation as "Grandma." As in, "Grandma" knew best and still knows best and we should be seeking Godly council and our Bibles as a way to raise our children. We shouldn't rely too much on the "people with the big letters behind their names" who may not even be parents and are telling you what you should do, not based on experience but by what they've read and studied.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from his book:

On self-esteem:
"Humanistic psychology's second contribution to Postmodern Psychological Parenting is the idea that high self-esteem is desirable---essential, in fact, to personal happiness---and parents should do everything in their power to help their children acquire it.
"Grandma didn't believe people should think highly of themselves. In fact, she did not have a lot of regard for people who did. She thought, and rightly so, that high self-regard was a problem, not a solution to a problem. Grandma valued humility and modesty and did her best to pass those virtues along to her children."
"That's a biblical point of view. Scripture does not validate high self-esteem. In the Old Testament, every single person with high self-esteem takes a huge fall, self-destructs, or is in the eventual recipient of God's wrath. In the New Testament, Jesus spoke on the subject of self-esteem---numerous times, in fact." (See Matthew 16:24, Matthew 20:16, Luke 14:11 and Isaiah 2:12)

On training up a child in the way he should go:
"Grandma's Three Rs"
1. "respect--for the fundamental dignity of every human being, which children develop by first learning respect for people in positions of legitimate authority, beginning with their parents."
2. "responsibility--in two equally important senses of the term: first, accountability for one's own actions; second, a willingness to carry out tasks by authority figures (as well as those that are simply due the family/community by virtue of one's membership within it.)"
3. "resourcefulness--a hang in there, tough it out, try-and-try again attitude brought to the challenges of life." (He elaborates on these in chapter 3.)

I love his humor and love for the Lord and those two really come through in this book. He backs up his writing with scripture and it's not taken out of context. If you look around you and see you want to do things differently with your kids (i.e. marriage centered family and not child-centered family) than what the "world" says is right, read this book! And read this book first. I think this is his best one to start with. It covers a lot of material and lays down the basics of his other books. I've read this book two times already and I think I'll read it numerous times before both girls leave our home. Enjoy!

Other books I've read by Rosemond and highly suggest:
Making the Terrible Two's Terrific (since I have two young girls and it's coming in very handy with Nyla right now)
The {New} Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children (everyone should read this one!)

Disclaimer: The thoughts in this review are all my own. I was not compensated in any way to write this review.


1 comment:

Angela said...

Hi Ginny, this is your old friend from high school, Angela Fortner (Mathes now). I follow your blog & I really enjoy it! I am also a SAHM of a 16 month old little girl. I've wanted to read this book for a while now but wasn't sure about the author as I had had not heard of him but your review has encouraged me to go ahead & read it. Thanks for all your posts, I'm always encouraged by them.