"Children Are Born Persons"

"Children are born persons."

This simple quote from Charlotte Mason has really resonated with me lately.

As a mom to 3 little girls (ages 7, 5.5 and almost 3) I'm learning that I need to respect who God made them to be. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. Yes, they need discipline. I need discipline but what's that look like when you have a kid who isn't typical?

One of my girls was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder back in December. I'll be honest, I'm very skeptical of all the "stuff" surrounding these labels. For one, I don't fully understand it all. I know I never will. I'm an avid reader, read trusted sources, etc, but I still don't fully get it. But, and this is a big but, there is something "different" (I don't mean different in a negative way) about her. She's been a more sensitive child than our others. We knew this from pretty much day 1. She got overtired super quick. She liked pitch black darkness. She had her likes and dislikes and made them known. Fast forward 2 years later and we have a very verbal child. But she still can't fully express her needs (she struggles with that even now as an almost 6 year old). And she now walks on her tiptoes (and has since she was 2). And she has meltdowns so easily. And she likes her clothes a certain way-nothing itchy, shorts that are soft and slip on and off, no jeans or buttons or zippers. She's so sensitive, more so than I feel a typical child is. She cries through half of a movie in the theater (something we've done twice) because Dory can't find her parents. When she misbehaves I discipline and nothing works. Timeouts. Room time. Spankings. You name, we've tried it.

And denial creeps in for pretty much 3 years. I write off her behavior. "Oh she's just being 2." "Oh, she's just being 3." You get the point. Really, if I'm honest with myself, I write off her. I give up on her. I get angry with her. I yell at her. I cry about it and think it'll change but it doesn't. I don't, not for a while. And there's a lot of guilt attached to how I act towards her. I blame it on me not being consistent enough in disciplining her. I blame it on whatever circumstance is happening. But I can't control everything. And I can't control her.

I realize when she turns 5 that we need some intervention. I can't ignore our really hard days anymore. And I mean really hard days. And they very much outweigh the good days. We have probably 1 good day to 6 bad days some weeks. She can't cope. I'm still yelling at her about how she acts. And I'm lost. I have no clue what to do. And I don't want to treat her like this anymore. She's a person! She's a loving, compassionate, sensitive child who God made and entrusted to me and I am not treating her with the respect she deserves.

I struggle to understand what a sensory processing disorder means. I know there's negative connotations that are attached to that label but I'm beginning to understand what it means for my girl.

My girl senses the world around her more strongly than I do or than most people do. That's how I interpret a sensory processing disorder for her. If she falls, stubs her toe, bumps into a wall she will scream so loud. It's a piercing scream that isn't always easy to take. If I'm sensitive to getting hurt then she's triple sensitive to something, at the very least. If I find a movie challenging to watch, it's more intense for her. Her feelings and emotions are just MORE. And that's simple to understand. She senses the world around her more strongly than I do. She gets overwhelmed very easily, especially in unfamiliar places. Even in familiar places she may struggle with what's around her.

If I'm honest with myself and honest with her I've not treated her with the respect she deserves. She's a person and she deserves not being made fun of if she falls and hurts herself. She deserves not to be yelled out or told to "get over it." When she seems dramatic, it's not that, it's that she feels her hurt more intensely than I do. More intensely than you do. And just because I don't understand what she's feeling doesn't mean I need to disrespect her. Everyone deserves respect, whether child or adult.

"The person should know about his worth, his unique place as a creature made to have a relationship with God. He understands who he is, his ability to choose, that he matters, that he is accepted and valued. He should like himself, even love himself. He is realistic; he accepts his own limitations, and knows that he can be creative within them. Having liked and accepted himself, he will go on to have the basis for liking and accepting his neighbor. Knowing that God has loved and served him, he will know that it is fostered by the child's human relationships, more than words about God to begin with. He should be with people who treat him with respect, politeness, truth. This includes the parent/teacher's (ANY grown-up) not pretending to know everything or acting as if he has arrived and is morally or spiritually perfect. If we are truthful about our own knowledge/intellectual limitations, this fresh air of truth and openness will help the child accept himself. It will help him strive for what is right and good. We prefer the company of others like ourselves, to the intimidation of a superman or woman who makes us feel rotten."
From For the Children's Sake, pgs. 148-149

Thanks for reading.

It's Been Awhile...Hello!

Hello out there. Is anyone still out there?

I popped in for a quick update. I'd love to say I'll be back soon or Daniel will but only time will tell.

So, here goes!

I've been on food journey for quite a few months. In September, while on vacation at the beach, I read an eye-opening book, The Whole 30. On October 1st I began the Whole 30 journey. I completed another round right after Christmas. What sprung this on? My health. I wasn't feeling top notch, had some tummy issues and just didn't like my relationship with food. I still don't like my relationship with food but some days it's not such a burden. I do pray it's something I don't pass onto my girls, though. After the 30-day experiment (that's what it was to me in October) I realized it was truly life changing. I had way more energy, a few inflammation issues I have struggled with for a decade or more were gone and I just over all felt like a better version of myself. And I lost 17 pounds in 30 days. All by eating real food and exercising a little. Amazing! I went through the 30 day program again in late December into January and lost 12 pounds. I still struggle with food but I'm much more conscious of what I'm preparing and eating. We tend to not have contraband food in our home quite as much. I control it, since I do the shopping, so it stays in the store where it belongs. On my food journey, I did learn that I don't tolerate dairy very well, gluten or large amounts of sugar. I don't have allergies to it but my tummy and my head appreciate when I stay away from those food items. I try to stay away from those items as much as possible. It's still a daily struggle but I feel like I'm getting the hang of it.

Nyla started an art class back in August through a local homeschool enrichment program and she has absolutely thrived! The picture below is all the pictures she drew from August-December. It's been so amazing to seen her confidence bloom through that class. She had a great second semester and is looking forward to taking the class again this coming Fall. 

Homeschooling is what I expected to be and not at the same time. How that's possible, I don't know but it's how I feel. I'm finding myself enjoying the process. We love the unhurried mornings, the spur-of-the-moment playdates with our friends/neighbors and quick field trips to our local zoo. There is a huge learning curve with homeschooling but I feel like it's right where we need to be. I'm not patient enough or smart enough but I do feel like this is where God wants our family. Our vision is to instill truth, beauty and goodness into the lives of girls, to create an active learning environment and help them feel loved and inspired. In my mind, homeschooling is the right fit for these conditions. It's right for our family. 

The big sisters, Nyla and Naomi, are best friends. I'm so thankful for that. Nyla loves "doing school" and having lots of free time to pursue her interests, like art and crafting. She's beginning to read and is gobbling up books. We take weekly trips to the library and come home with a huge box of books. Naomi is beginning the process of reading. Even at 4.5 years old she still struggles to recognize all the letters in the alphabet but All About Reading is helping with that tremendously. She loves the program and the zebra puppet (we are using the Pre-Reading with her) and having her little school time. She won't officially be in Kindergarten until the Fall of 2017 so we have lots of time, but she's shown an interest and I'm going with it. She also loves to draw but her real passion is books. She could sit all day on the couch or the floor and read read read. She wants to flip through books constantly and have me read just as many. She really enjoys playing outside and jumping on the trampoline. She always finds the biggest sticks or logs outside and carries them around. She never walks anywhere (always running, jumping, prancing, or walking on her tiptoes) and she has a great big imagination. She is a funny girl who has us laughing constantly.

The picture below is one of the many examples of their love of books. Today we sat on the floor for an hour in a row and read a bunch of books. And then continued to read on and off throughout the day. We don't watch TV or movies so reading is a favorite in our home!

And since we're chatting about reading, here's my stack from February. I bought this stack of Ruth's books when she was having a bundle sale. The Unstuffed book is just a little sneak peak. The actual book just released a couple weeks ago and I've yet to get my hands on it. But I will. There's so much wisdom in her books about spending less and getting rid of clutter. They are books I'll come back to time and time again. 

Nyla and Naomi got big haircuts a couple months ago. Nyla's makes her look so grown up. They are just like their mama loving big haircuts!

Here's Natalie. She's so big. She is 20 months old today and she's everywhere. She thinks she's as big as her sisters and does keep up with them pretty well. She eats anything I put in front of her, loves to jump on the trampoline, she's also and avid book lover and is the happiest girl. In 2013 I really felt like someone was missing from our family. Not a boy, just someone else. And she's definitely been the missing piece. She is so content and does so well with our ever-changing days. We can tote her anywhere and she's ready for the ride. I'm thankful for such an easy 3rd child since we're out and about frequently these days.

And there's our big update!

Love Languages

A good rule of thumb: When you think you're doing a pretty good job at this parenting thing, that's when you are getting ready to learn something new or, in this case, re-learn something old. Such was the case with us Monday evening.

At bedtime, Ginny likes to ask our two big girls three questions: 1) What made you happy today? 2) What made you sad? 3) What did you learn? We could tell Nyla was feeling off Monday, just not the typical 5-year old she usually is. After some poking and prodding, Ginny was able to get a tearful Nyla to admit that she did not get enough hugs and kisses from Mommy. (Not what you want your child to tell you.) Nyla also tearfully told me that she wanted Mommy and Daddy to draw her pictures. You see, Nyla loves to draw. I mean, she enjoys it so much. I have at least a dozen pictures in my cubicle at work that she has drawn for me. And here she is, crying that we haven't drawn her any pictures.

We are proponents of the book The Five Love Languages. It's a great read and great way to find out how you feel loved and express love. For instance, my top 2 love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. Ginny is quality time and acts of service. Nyla, we determined, was receiving gifts and probably acts of service. You see where I'm going with this, right? Her "love tank" was empty, because she didn't get any gifts! Here she was, drawing pictures for us, and we were ignoring that as a sign that she needs to get gifts, too! Thanking her for them and telling her how pretty they are weren't enough. Needless to say, Ginny and I felt terrible. I held Nyla at bedtime and told her that I was sorry for not drawing for her, because she draws many pretty pictures for us.

So naturally, I drew her a picture that night - a picture of Madeline (from the books) and three toys. I wrote a note telling Nyla I loved her and asking her what toy she thought Madeline should pick. As you can see from the picture, my drawing (and love) was well-received.

Yesterday, she was back to being our sweet, happy Nyla. Nyla, Naomi, and I sat down at the table last night and learned how to draw birds, a sailbot, a rocket, a bat, and an elephant. (Thanks, Pinterest!) The lesson here is to always, always, always be mindful of how your child (or spouse or family or friends) loves and feels loved.

-D

Homeschool Digest #1

Nyla is reading!

Naomi is continuing to learn her letters. Letting her just play with them seems to help her.

Hello out there, it's been forever since we've blogged! I have tons of ideas rolling around in my head but alas I'm busy and never sit down to blog. 

This is our first official year of homeschooling and things are going about as I expected. It's taken us some time to get adjusted to sitting down and "doing" school. I expect things to continue to evolve and change every few weeks. Thankfully, I feel equipped to handle the changes that come our way. Since the girls are constantly growing and changing I have to be ready to embrace our changing days. And with a toddler underfoot, things are always interesting! 

As we find our groove the most important subjects I want covered daily are Bible/character study, math, reading and writing. I feel accomplished when we get those items done. We have numerous reading times throughout the day. We are not a TV watching family so reading and crafting just come natural to us. 

Speaking of crafts, I'm not overly crafty but the girls sure do enjoying hands-on activities each day. Thank goodness for Pinterest in finding EASY crafts. I like the type of crafts that I can just look at the picture and figure it out myself. I don't want to make time for reading a detailed instruction guide on how to do a 10 minute craft. We do more in-depth crafts occasionally but I want simple. We try and color once a week, but also use scissors, glue, watercolors and oil pastels. I always have googly eyes, construction paper and other crafty items on hand for the girls to choose. 

Busy girl toddler keeps things interesting. She's been walking about 3 weeks.

Naomi in her eagle mask.

   

Nyla in her eagle mask.

We enjoy staying home most days but we take a field trip every 2 to 3 weeks or so, more when the weather is nice. A few weeks ago we visited Priddy Farms pumpkin patch. We were there a couple hours and had a great time.

Field trip to Priddy Farms.

It's fun to watch our girls develop into their own person with each passing month. Naomi (our #2 girl) NEVER walks anywhere. She likes to dash, jump, twirl, tip toe, run, skip, prance, etc everywhere. I'm not sure she knows how to just walk. :) 

She enjoys flipping through books constantly. She has a BIG imagination and is constantly talking and figuring out life. She is full of questions, funny answers and sayings. This girl LOVES life! I hope she keeps that wonder of it all.

My ultimate book lover, Naomi!

Little Miss Muffet and spider craft with a proud Naomi. 

Nyla (our #1 girl) really enjoys writing. She's been able to write her name since she was 3 years old. She just figured it out on her own. I made letters and books available but she learned letter recognition pretty much on her own. She's VERY independent and wants to figure things out on her own. But she's not stubborn and will ask for help if she needs it, thankfully. She is constantly coloring and drawing pictures for people. I think Daniel comes home and always has something she's drawn him that day. She's taking an art class in a local homeschool enrichment program and she's really enjoying it. She comes home each Tuesday and draws for me what she learned in art that morning. She says she'll be able to bring her portfolio home before Christmas. I sure hope so because I'm ready to see what she's learned.

Nyla loves to write!

Natalie (our #3) girl is a budding toddler. She's been walking about 3 weeks and she is EVERYWHERE! She practically got up one day and walked across rooms, like she's known what she's doing all along. She enjoys playing outside with her sisters, she's saying a dozen or so words, enjoys flipping through books, stealing the big girls toys, coloring (I'm going to have to watch her and walls, I do believe), helping the girls with their puzzles and carrying her lovey around. Thankfully, she's an excellent sleeper (except when teething), a great eater and a fun girl. She is constantly smiling and we can tell her wheels are always turning in her little mind. She is such a ham and walks around just giggling about nothing, at least it's nothing to us. She's been the missing piece in our little family.

We're raising another bookworm!

Natalie enjoys writing on our chalkboard in the kitchen, just like her big sisters.

After our corn maze field trip with one of our homeschool groups, we checked out a local pumpkin patch.

So, that's a wrap up of the last few months. I hope to update more than every 4 months. :)

10 Days and Counting

We aren't counting down or anything around here! 10 days (or less) until the newest member of our family makes her debut. And we are all very excited! Mommy is getting VERY uncomfortable, especially at night and the 105 heat index days aren't helping.

We have been soaking up the last few weeks as a family of 4. It's a bittersweet time, really. We started preschool homeschool back in June and went strong for about 4 weeks but have taken an extended break. We try to get out of the house, have play dates, swing and slide at our locals parks, swim and just soak up time together. And that's exactly what's been happening and I wouldn't have it any other way! I know that once Natalie comes we'll still be able to play outside but leaving the house for a few weeks just won't happen. And that's okay. I know we'll get back to that within a month or so of a good routine. I'm praying for an easier recovery than I had with Naomi since I have two busy girls to keep up with this go around.

My big girls are excited to welcome Natalie Grace but at the same time I think they have expectations that she's going to be a ball of fun like they are. We have quite a few friends with baby girls who are about a year old and 1 year olds are totally different than newborns! We keep explaining to them that all Natalie will do for awhile is sleep, cry, eat and lay around. They'll understand once she comes. But right now that seems so foreign to them. 

Below are a few pictures of what's been going on in our home lately. July and August have proven to be busy months. I'm glad we aren't doing formal "school" right now. It would just get in the way of our fun! We are continuing to keep the TV OFF and reading tons of books together each day, as well as crafting and honing their fine motor skills. They seem to be enjoying our days together. I know I am!

We went to Chick-fil-a last week for breakfast. This picture is a great description of their two VERY different personalities!

Watercolor fun!
It's been hot hot hot here. We enjoy the mornings outside but have to come back in and find other things to do.

We all got haircuts Wednesday and we desperately needed them!

We have recently started Milly-Molly-Mandy, a chapter book, and both girls love it! It's a great little book, written in the 20's. While the language is a bit different and I have to explain what some words and phrases mean, they seem to like it. Each chapter is separate from the next and they are about 6 pages long. I'm trying to get Nyla to dialogue with me so I'll stop every couple paragraphs and ask her questions. Sometimes she gets them, sometimes not, but it's good practice for her.
In the picture above, she's looking at a picture (there are very few) and making up her own little stories or somewhat retelling what I've read. She's obviously getting something out of the book. 

Naomi loves pushing her old stroller around and wearing her sunglass. She's "cool dude."

Daddy and Nyla have visited Putt-Putt a few times this summer. We think one of Nyla's love languages is quality time so she's really enjoyed going and playing with him. She's getting pretty good, too!

We took Naomi a couple weeks ago (before it was scorching hot) and she wasn't interested at first but soon wanted to play. She is funny to watch. She's learning some Putt-Putt etiquette as well. :)

For Nyla's 4th birthday I took her to a local nail salon and we got matching pedicures. Back in the Spring, my mom, sister and I went to this salon and they and a little pink chair just for little girls, complete with butterfly wings. I had never seen that before and told Nyla about it. She immediately wanted to go! I told her for her birthday we'd go and do that. We don't do physical gifts for birthdays, we do gifts of experience. She loved it! We had a great time sitting next to one another and I loved watching her face has her feet soaked and they scrubbed her feet, massaged her legs and painted her toes. And since she's a quality time person, this was right up her alley. We completed our birthday celebration by going and eating taco's together. Another favorite activity of hers!

We love our popsicles on hot days!

Sweet Naomi praying
Nyla enjoyed VBS at my parents church again this summer. Naomi isn't quite old enough to be in a class but each night we dropped Sissy off we HAD to stay for the opening program. They had great music, dancing, puppets, devotion and prayer. She loved it! She can't wait to go next year!!!

Biker buds

My dad likes a picture now and then of his grand girls. I told Nyla, "Sir wants a picture of you. Can you smile for me?"
She said, " yes" and then said, "Sir wants a picture of me being 4." (she had just turned 4 that week... so sweet!)

A Plethora of Pictures

As you can imagine, we have been busy around here getting things ready for Natalie's arrival in just 23 days. But we have still had lots of fun!

Post-swimming play time at Gigi's

Another fun afternoon at Putt Putt for Nyla and me. She got 3 holes-in-one!

Face-painting at church block party! A crown for the princess!

And a smiley face for the mostly happy blonde spark plug!

Naomi rode a horse at the block party!

Poor, pitiful, tired Naomi

A Sunday selfie!

Fun at Cookie's church's playground

At Our Home: May

May proved to be a busy month in our homes. I guess all months are like that when you have kids! Here's what our month looked like.

Muffins with Mom for Mother's Day at our church

Naomi decided to open up the bean bag chair and play with the beans. Not fun!

We read lots of books... as usual!

These girls love each other. So blessed!

We went strawberry picking and the girls had a blast. They insisted on carrying
and filling their own buckets.

Our haul!

I baked a lot with our strawberries and froze all of it. I've been able to take our baked
goods to different functions without having to do anything.

We played with our puzzles

Nyla loves these puzzles

We are always dressing up!

I got an Amazon gift card for Mother's Day and bought a cookbook. Shocker! :)

We said, "goodbye" to our teachers and friends at KDO.

Nyla finished AWANA at a local church. She got a book award for finishing her book and learning
all her verses. We are so proud of her! 

Nyla's little imagination has taken off in the last few months. This is Mr. Glenn, her puppy. :)

We got a new kiddie pool to enjoy!

Daddy fond a bunch of worms over by our compost and he and the girls talked about
them and dug them up and put them in our vegetable garden.

The girls are definitely little mommy's. They are going to be great big sisters to Natalie in a few months!

We enjoyed ice cream one night

Naomi, as usual, had us cracking up with her silly faces!

We treated Naomi for a fairly serious staph infection on her booty. We had to bathe her 2-3 times a day with an antibacterial soap, put a cream on her booty after that, spray everything with bleach, wash all her clothes and sheets in hot water, she was on a strong antibiotic and we had to watch for bad breakouts that come along with staph. It was a long 10 days with all that. I'm glad she's better. We have no idea how she got it but I'm glad we got it treated when we did. They swabbed and ran tests on it and called about 4 days later. MRSA staph is what it's called and can be deadly if not treated. Eek! Thankful for our Pediatrician!