"Children Are Born Persons"

"Children are born persons."

This simple quote from Charlotte Mason has really resonated with me lately.

As a mom to 3 little girls (ages 7, 5.5 and almost 3) I'm learning that I need to respect who God made them to be. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. Yes, they need discipline. I need discipline but what's that look like when you have a kid who isn't typical?

One of my girls was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder back in December. I'll be honest, I'm very skeptical of all the "stuff" surrounding these labels. For one, I don't fully understand it all. I know I never will. I'm an avid reader, read trusted sources, etc, but I still don't fully get it. But, and this is a big but, there is something "different" (I don't mean different in a negative way) about her. She's been a more sensitive child than our others. We knew this from pretty much day 1. She got overtired super quick. She liked pitch black darkness. She had her likes and dislikes and made them known. Fast forward 2 years later and we have a very verbal child. But she still can't fully express her needs (she struggles with that even now as an almost 6 year old). And she now walks on her tiptoes (and has since she was 2). And she has meltdowns so easily. And she likes her clothes a certain way-nothing itchy, shorts that are soft and slip on and off, no jeans or buttons or zippers. She's so sensitive, more so than I feel a typical child is. She cries through half of a movie in the theater (something we've done twice) because Dory can't find her parents. When she misbehaves I discipline and nothing works. Timeouts. Room time. Spankings. You name, we've tried it.

And denial creeps in for pretty much 3 years. I write off her behavior. "Oh she's just being 2." "Oh, she's just being 3." You get the point. Really, if I'm honest with myself, I write off her. I give up on her. I get angry with her. I yell at her. I cry about it and think it'll change but it doesn't. I don't, not for a while. And there's a lot of guilt attached to how I act towards her. I blame it on me not being consistent enough in disciplining her. I blame it on whatever circumstance is happening. But I can't control everything. And I can't control her.

I realize when she turns 5 that we need some intervention. I can't ignore our really hard days anymore. And I mean really hard days. And they very much outweigh the good days. We have probably 1 good day to 6 bad days some weeks. She can't cope. I'm still yelling at her about how she acts. And I'm lost. I have no clue what to do. And I don't want to treat her like this anymore. She's a person! She's a loving, compassionate, sensitive child who God made and entrusted to me and I am not treating her with the respect she deserves.

I struggle to understand what a sensory processing disorder means. I know there's negative connotations that are attached to that label but I'm beginning to understand what it means for my girl.

My girl senses the world around her more strongly than I do or than most people do. That's how I interpret a sensory processing disorder for her. If she falls, stubs her toe, bumps into a wall she will scream so loud. It's a piercing scream that isn't always easy to take. If I'm sensitive to getting hurt then she's triple sensitive to something, at the very least. If I find a movie challenging to watch, it's more intense for her. Her feelings and emotions are just MORE. And that's simple to understand. She senses the world around her more strongly than I do. She gets overwhelmed very easily, especially in unfamiliar places. Even in familiar places she may struggle with what's around her.

If I'm honest with myself and honest with her I've not treated her with the respect she deserves. She's a person and she deserves not being made fun of if she falls and hurts herself. She deserves not to be yelled out or told to "get over it." When she seems dramatic, it's not that, it's that she feels her hurt more intensely than I do. More intensely than you do. And just because I don't understand what she's feeling doesn't mean I need to disrespect her. Everyone deserves respect, whether child or adult.

"The person should know about his worth, his unique place as a creature made to have a relationship with God. He understands who he is, his ability to choose, that he matters, that he is accepted and valued. He should like himself, even love himself. He is realistic; he accepts his own limitations, and knows that he can be creative within them. Having liked and accepted himself, he will go on to have the basis for liking and accepting his neighbor. Knowing that God has loved and served him, he will know that it is fostered by the child's human relationships, more than words about God to begin with. He should be with people who treat him with respect, politeness, truth. This includes the parent/teacher's (ANY grown-up) not pretending to know everything or acting as if he has arrived and is morally or spiritually perfect. If we are truthful about our own knowledge/intellectual limitations, this fresh air of truth and openness will help the child accept himself. It will help him strive for what is right and good. We prefer the company of others like ourselves, to the intimidation of a superman or woman who makes us feel rotten."
From For the Children's Sake, pgs. 148-149

Thanks for reading.

At Our Home: April

We've had a fairly busy April, as most months are around here. Between 2 days of KDO (thankfully, that's over next week!), zoo trips and play dates this pregnant mama is pooped! Here's a glimpse into our April.

We are bookworms around here!

This girls love to color! She's been working on her little workbooks I picked up at the Dollar Tree for fun. She is mastering writing her letters.

Our tomato plants finally went into the ground. I was adventurous and planted over 30 tomatoes, a dozen peppers and half a dozen okra. There's no telling how they'll do or what I'll do with all of them. I want to can them but that'll happen right when I have baby, so we'll see!

We traveled to see my Grandmother in Georgia  and the girls did great.
This is Nyla's drawing of Daddy. She's so sweet!

Grammy (my Grandmother) had some great toys. She still had old blocks my grandfather made, as well as lego's, baby dolls and so much more. And it's all toys I remember playing with as a girl. What great memories!

Our last day in GA we went to a local park and let the girls  run off some energy. They had a big cement tube that the girls found entertaining. It's fun watching them in new places and experiencing new things.

Naomi was a little timid about the tube but after Nyla  went through she decided it was okay to try.

Our little church had the annual Easter egg hunt. Naomi was totally into it this year. She was fun to watch.

Nyla, on the other hand, wasn't too interested in hunting. She gathered as many as she wanted and went back inside. 

We had a nice, warm day so we headed to the zoo in our new outfits from Gigi.

Mama and Baby #3 get excellent prenatal care from the big sisters!

We had our big reveal for baby #3 a couple weeks ago. I did a special reveal for Nyla and Naomi and wanted baby #3 to have that too. My sister gave me the idea to buy balloons for the reveal... blue for boy or pink for girl. Daniel and I went to my OB appointment together and I bought balloons that night for the gender we were having. The big reveal happened the next night. This was the hardest secret to keep for 36 hours! My dad was the funniest about it. He texted me all day Wednesday and all day Thursday asking if I wanted to tell him or that it was okay to tell him. He cracked me up!

And baby #3 is a girl! Natalie will join our family in early September. I have to say I was more shocked we were having another girl than Daniel was. We are thankful she's healthy and the pregnancy is going well.

We've had tons of outside time and it's been great! Naomi's little imagination has really grown the last few months and it's been fun watching her grown each day. She took off the top piece of our water table and called it an inhaler. Obviously, they have breathing issues and know what an inhaler is. But for her to take that off and start saying, "I need my haler" (she calls it her haler), she had Nyla and I cracking up. Then she was trying to put it on Nyla's face, "Use your haler Nyla." Too funny!

Daniel and I celebrated 6 years together on the 26th! We like to go out for a nice dinner (if we can) each year.  Every year we go to J. Alexander's. It's always a nice place, great service and fantastic food. We are never disappointed and this meal was no different. I always get Steak Maui (a ribeye with a sweet marinade and it's full of flavor) with a side dish. Wow, it's good!

Because of all the cold we had this winter our Spring has come a little late but it's been so nice to see everything blooming. My iris's have gone absolutely crazy this year. This picture was the beginning stages of the iris's. Now I've got at least 2 dozen blooming around our mailbox. I can't wait for the Daylilies and Black Eyed Susans' to bloom this Summer.

On another trip to the zoo we visited the farm and saw they have 2 new additions. Two baby sheep have joined the family farm and they were so sweet. The little black one came up to the fence so I pet it. The girls thought it was funny.

Of all the zoo has to offer, the Koi pond is a favorite feature to the girls. I guess they love all the colors. We spent quite awhile watching all the fish and talking about their colors. The fish must've thought we were going to feed them because they kept getting closer and closer to us.

Nyla has become obsessed with little piggy tail braids. She has wanted them almost everyday for the last 2 weeks. She looks super cute with them in.

Sweet Naomi has been showing me everything she colors. This is her Jesse Bear that she colored months ago but is still loving. She likes to show it to me from time to time and this was one of those times.

That's all that's happened in our month of April. That's certainly enough, isn't it? I'm ready for Kid's Day Out to be done and we can get into our routine of being together everyday. We're ready for our summer together!